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Honey-Do-Not

Before my wife and I got married I made it pretty clear that I wasn’t a Handy Manny kind of guy.  A “honey-do” list would probably lay around for years if she gave me one.  I work hard and have no intentions spending my off days working on or around the house.  I know this may sound selfish, and maybe to a certain extent it is.  My reason for sharing this though is to point out how it is better to share your true feelings with someone about what you are willing to sacrifice instead of keeping it to yourself – a lie of omission – and allowing bitterness and resentment to take a foothold in your relationships.  I heard a counselor tell a story about a couple who were having major issues over the honey-do list.  The wife would give her husband THE LIST.  Instead of telling her he wanted no part of the list, he would agree but never get it done.  He was afraid to tell his wife upfront that he wasn’t going to do the things on the list.  “That would cause an argument” he said.  I think it’s fair to say that ignoring the problem led to bigger arguments and eventually to counseling.

I believe it is sometimes difficult to be honest with God as well.  We don’t want to seem disrespectful, or unholy.  Scripture says. 

1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
 2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
         You understand my thought afar off.
 3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
         And are acquainted with all my ways.

(Psalm 139:1-3, New King James Version)

You can’t fool Him.  He already knows how you feel.  He know about your selfishness.  He knows the darkest parts of you, and loves you anyway.  No pious façade can get past God.  Being honest with Him will open the door to growth in your life.  Break the “stain glass masquerade” which holds you back.  It serves only the pride in your life.   

 

 

P.S.  I will say that there should be things in your relationships, especially with your spouse, that you are willing to sacrifice.  For instance, my wife enjoys the fact that I am perfectly happy watching the kids if she needs a night out with the girls, or to go to a non-kid-friendly event.  Apparently, this is somewhat uncommon with some of the other husbands in our circle of friends.

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